I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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