4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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