Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
