I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
