Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
