just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
