Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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