so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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