FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
