Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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