One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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