Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
