I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize