So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
