my sisters under your porch take her home
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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