margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
