who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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