I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was born a porn star she said
I am full of burrito and curiosity
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
