I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
