Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
