I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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