you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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