oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
