This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
