Sry I called you an 8
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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