just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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