and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
