this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
