I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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