He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
