I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
