Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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