You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
