I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize