can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
