did you get engaged???
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize