Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
