highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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