fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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