The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just want to make out with him forever
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
