They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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