this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
