I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
