you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
