I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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