i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
