OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
