Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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