Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
