wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize