I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Blood and glitter go together right?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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