If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
