Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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