sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
