i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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