I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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